So drunk its hurt
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
