Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
