Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
