I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
