OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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