i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Randomize
