ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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