Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Randomize
