i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
