third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
