I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Randomize
