I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
