Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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