I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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