The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
