Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
