are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
