I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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