i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
