They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
This house was built for laser tag.
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
