She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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