I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
