all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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