We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I love you. Go after that dick
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
