ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
