i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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