i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
just tell him i said nine months
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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