this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
