Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize
