Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
