Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
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