It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
