woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
