so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
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