He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
