After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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