I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
