I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
