that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
