So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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