friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
