xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Randomize
