so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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