I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
And then he peed in my hair
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
