finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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