Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Randomize
