Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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