We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
