sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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