I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
