I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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