found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
