Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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