He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Randomize
