Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
It's never too late to be topless.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
